Stopping the Cycle of Pain-DH DeForge, VMD

Stopping the Cycle of Pain in the Pet You Love!

The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. --Helen Keller

A Commentary on Companion Animal Pain  

D. DeForge, VMD

"Today there is a better understanding of how pain develops and is perpetuated.  It is now well established that animals and humans have similar neural pathways for the development, conduction, and modulation of pain.  According to the principle of analogy, because cats and dogs have neural pathways and neurotransmittors that are similar, if not identical, to those of humans, it is highly likely animals experience pain similarly." Journal of the American Animal Hospital Association 2007;43:235-248 AAHA/AAFP Pain Management Guidelines for Dogs and Cats.

Bad pain is a form of pain that is unfortunately not recognized by the pet owner.  Bad Pain is pain that a pet lives with each and every day of its life and thinks that t this significant PAIN is NORMAL.  The greatest tragedy is that of the pet believing the pain that is in their life is normal and they must live with it each and every day of their lives.

Examples of Bad Pain are:

Osteoarthritis

Oral Pain

Cancer

Gastrointestinal

Dermatological

Ear Infections

Ocular

Urogenital

Neurological

Orthopedic

Post-Surgical Pain

Dr. Alice Villalobos has created her Quality of Life Scale which centers on patient comfort and pain control.  The Pawspice Reference in the chart is a reference to the first pet Hospice in the United States created by Dr. Villalobos.  
See Table Below:

Quality of Life Scale1         The HHHHHMM Scale
Pet caregivers can use this Quality of Life Scale to determine the success of pawspice care. Score patients using a scale of 1 to 10.
Score	Criterion
H: 0 - 10	HURT - Adequate pain control, including breathing ability, is first and foremost on the scale. Is the pet's pain successfully managed? Is oxygen necessary?
H: 0 - 10	HUNGER - Is the pet eating enough? Does hand feeding help? Does the patient require a feeding tube?
H: 0 - 10	HYDRATION - Is the patient dehydrated? For patients not drinking enough, use subcutaneous fluids once or twice daily to supplement fluid intake.
H: 0 - 10	HYGIENE - The patient should be brushed and cleaned, particularly after elmination. Avoid pressure sores and keep all wounds clean.
H: 0 - 10	HAPPINESS - Does the pet express joy and interest? Is the pet responsive to things around him or her (family, toys, etc.)? Is the pet depressed, lonely, anxious, bored or afraid? Can the pet's bed be close to the family activities and not be isolated?
M: 0 - 10	MOBILITY - Can the patient get up without assistance? Does the pet need human or mechanical help (e.g. a cart)? Does the pet feel like going for a walk?  Is the pet having seizures or stumbling?  (Some caregivers feel euthanasia is preferable to amputation, yet an animal who has limited mobility but is still alert and responsive can have a good quality of life as long as caregivers are committed to helping the pet.)
M: 0 - 10	MORE GOOD DAYS THAN BAD - When bad days outnumber good days, quality of life might be compromised. When a healthy human-animal bond is no longer possible, the caregiver must be made aware the end is near. The decision needs to be made if the pet is suffering. If death comes peacefully and painlessly, that is okay.
*TOTAL=	*A total >35 points is acceptable for a good pawspice

                                                        
1.Adapted by Villalobos, A.E., Quality of Life Scale Helps Make Final Call, VPN, 
09/2004,for Canine and Feline Geriatric Oncology Honoring the Human-Animal 
Bond, by Blackwell Publishing, Table 10.1, released 2006.

A Human Pain Scale

Chart Above--Human Pain Scale from the Internet-No source available. 

Adaptation of a Human Pain Scale to Animal Pain is very difficult if not impossible.

Because there is no subjective pain definition in the companion animal it is not possible to easily rate pain as is done in a Human Pain Scale.  We can tell the doctor, as humans, about our subjective pain [i.e. our symptom of pain].  We can state if it is mild, moderate, or severe.  NOT so in animals. This objective v. subjective concept separates our objective observation of animal pain from the subjective definition of pain in the human species.  An example is the difficulty in determining the severity and actual presence of Bad Pain in animals. Non-apparent yet quite severe bad pain is a challenge to the clinician.  The pain of a broken leg can be defined in an animal.  The pain of chronic pain that the animal lives with day after day after day with no or minimal objective physical signs of discomfort is of major concern. This is a problem necessitating the full and complementary effort of ER Doctor, general practitioner, specialist, and home pet advocate.

Dr. DeForge's Pain Scale for Dogs and Cats

Condition Centered

0-No pain; healthy patient

I-Mild Pain-

                  Early osteoarthritis-minimal discomfort on joint examination by the clinician

                  Minor Dermatitis

                  Early Periodontal Pathology

                  Mild Gastroenteritis

                  Conjunctivitis

                  Minor otitis

                  Minor Trauma

                  Tracheitis-Pharyngitis

                  Cystitis Acute

                  Early Cancer

                  Post Surgical Discomfort following elective surgery

               

II-Significant Pain-

                  Advancing osteoarthritis

                  Acute trauma to a tooth with pulp exposure

                  Advancing Periodontal Pathology

                  Open sores on skin with secondary infection-Pyotraumatic Pain

                  Consistent vomiting and/or diarrhea

                  Anal Sacculitis

                  Cystitis-Urethrtis-Vaginitis-Chronic and prolonged without treatment

                  Corneal ulcer or blunt trauma to eye and tissues surrounding the eye

                  Glaucoma-Acute or Chronic

                  Otitis Externa and or Media Advanced Inflammatory Pathology

                  Advancing Cancer

                  Multiple Trauma sites

                  Post Surgical Discomfort following major surgery

III-Severe Pain-

                  Multi-Centric Osteoarthritis and/or Spondylitis

                  Advanced Oral Disease with root abscessation

                  Multiple tooth fractures with pulp exposure

                  Cat Stomatitis

                  Chronic Ulcerative Paradental Stomatitis in the Dog

                  Acute Necrotic Gangrenous and Ulcerative Periodontitis in the Dog

                  Deep Odontoclastic Osteoclastic Resorptive Lesions in the cat with pulp involvment

                  Trauma to mouth with pulp exposure or jaw fracture

                  Oral Cancer

                  Whole body pyoderma with excoriation

                  Anal Sac abscessation

                  Advanced Ocular Inflammation

                  Foreign body puncture of cornea involving anterior chamber

                  Foreign body: conjunctival in nature

                  Retrobulbar Abscess

                  Cancer

                  Tympanic Membrane Rupture

                  Trauma to long bones, chest, abdomen, or head

                  Intervertebral Disc Disease

                  ACL and Meninsal Problems of the knee

                  Urethral Obstruction

                  Gastric or Intestinal Foreign Body or Obstruction

                  Gastric Volvulus [Bloat]

                  Post Surgical Pain Following Lengthy Complex Surgery

                  Continual bloody emesis

                  Chronic bloody dysentery 

                  Auto Accident-Shock multiple trauma sites

                  High Riser Fall-Multiple trauma sites

                  Crushing Injury to head, trunk, long bones

                  Terminal Cancer

                  Terminal Organ Failure-not cancer

                  Heart Failure

                  Acute Pulmonary Failure

                  Laryngeal Paralsis

                  Tracheal or Esophageal Foreign Body

                  Terminal Pulmonary Failure

                  Pneumo and/or Hemothorax

                  Diaphragmatic Hernia

                  Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy 

                  Vascular pain-Emboli 

Dr. Villalbos's Quality of Life Scale should be applied to all PAIN patients but definitely considered VITAL in the SEVERE PAIN CLASS III Patient.  No pet should live in pain.  If your pet is suffering from any of the conditions above ask for a consult with your local doctor of veterinary medicine and ask their help in the treatment of that pain.  The AAHA/AAFP Pain Management Guidelines are a starting point for your doctor.  There are also pain specialists in the United States that your doctor can contact for a Pain Control Consult and Review of Therapy.

Your doctor may want to consult with a doctor with a special interest in pain management [i.e. a member of the International Veterinary Academy of Pain Management]. 

FROM THE IVAPM WEBSITE: "The International Veterinary Academy of Pain Management is a multi-disciplinary organization that seeks to promote the acquisition and dissemination of knowledge related to the biology and clinical treatment of pain in animals. Stakeholders in this process include a wide cross-section of individuals.

The Academy seeks to: provide forums for communication among all interested parties of knowledge concerning the biology and treatment of animal pain, provide continuing education in the area of pain recognition and treatment, and establish a process whereby veterinarians with a special interest in the area of animal pain management can meet a set of prescribed objectives that will ultimately lead to certification in the management of animal pain.

Finally, the Academy seeks to promote humane, scientific investigation into the biology of animal pain and the assessment of the efficacy of defined treatment modalities."

There is a plethora of help for pain management in 2014.  Pain can be controlled and quality of life achieved if the pet advocate learns fundamentals in evaluating their own pet for pain at home.  All it takes is time and understanding of your pet's Quality of Life.  

Examine Dr. Villalobos's HHHHHMM Scale above and then--look at your own companion. If your pet is aging or if your pet has a serious medical problem............ today is the day to begin charting change.  Keep daily logs and share those logs on a weekly basis with your veterinarian.  Pain control is not a medicine but it is a system of monitoring, evaluating, and prescribing.  

The pain control system selected could range from physical therapy, to acupuncture, to multiple pharmaceuticals, and many other modules of pain care.  There is not one pain system for each condition.  The Pain Condition Chart that has been placed in this blog is for identification of severity.  Within each area: Mild I; Significant II; and Severe III, each patient may perceive pain differently.  

A patient in Mild Stage I Pain can have as serious a pain reaction as a Severe Stage III pain patient.  A pet can jump from one stage to the next in just a few days necessitating different pain control.  The only way to know where your pet is on the Pain Scale is to look at the Quality of Life Markers that Dr. Villalobos has so eloquently described. 

The greatest act of kindness is removing pain from the companion that supplies unconditional love.  If you are lost and cannot tell if your pet is in pain: Pick up the phone 
and schedule an appointment with your veterinarian.  Tell that doctor your concern and that you want to be certain you are not missing a vital pain marker.  Working together the pain can be identified and removed. 

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read” Mark Twain

  

                  

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26May2014

                  

                  

Searching to Find Happiness

Searching to Find Happiness

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up. "   Mark Twain

"Looking for Greener Pastures and never seeing the beauty outside our back door."

                                  Don DeForge, VMD

 How great it would be to be that multi-million dollar ball player with the perfect knuckle ball.  As it leaves your hand, it flutters and jumps left and right and the batter swings and finds only air.  The crowds in the ball park scream your name as the game ends with your  fellow ball players jumping on you.  You have won the World Series.

It is the Super Bowl and your team is behind by two points.   You are called upon to kick a 55 yard field goal.  As you approach the ball, the world turns into slow motion.  You can feel yourself breathe; the ball ever so slowly comes toward you to be placed on the ground; you try to move your foot faster but it is slowed down as though it is being controlled by a force you do not understand.  Your foot touches the ball and it sails higher and higher and higher.  It moves to the right and just finds its way inside the right goal post.  You have won the Super Bowl.

It is a concert at Madison Square Garden.  You are chosen to open up for Elton John.  You begin to sing and the words flow effortlessly from your mouth.  Everyone is cheering and calling your name.  As you finish the song and start to walk off stage, they chant your name asking for an encore.

It is your wedding day.  You are marrying the most beautiful actress to light up stage and screen.  You say, "why has she chosen me?'  The ceremony ends you embrace and the kiss never ends. 

You are being inaugurated President of the United States.  As the oath of office is being read to you by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, you look out at the crowd of people at the Inauguration staring just at you.  The moment freezes in time.

You have worked in a Clinical Research Lab for 40 years.  Today, you can say you have found the answer to prevent ALL cancer in children.  You hold a child in your arms who has life-threatening cancer and know that your research will cure this child within a year.  A tear develops in the corner of your eye as you embrace the child.

"Looking for greener pastures and never seeing the beauty outside our back door." Don DeForge

How many of your friends talk to you about how much money they are making and how they enjoy finding ways to make more money.  Even when those ways are at the expense of others, they truly enjoy making more and more money.  What about the party you are attending and all that is talked about is each person's self importance' their new car; their new home[s]; their vacation to France etc. etc. etc.

Doesn't it get a little trite or boring to be part of this "spin cycle" of self-importance.  Do you ever ask, "why did I come here tonight?"  

"Happy people have two things in common. They know exactly what they want and they feel they're moving toward getting it. That's what makes life feel good: when it has direction, when you are heading straight for what you love."

Barbara Sher

I must be replaced by "we"!  Ego must be replaced by helping others.  Seeking remuneration for everything you do every moment of each day.....must be replaced by bringing happiness to others. 

Concerning the quest for love, I live with the words of my mentor, Dr. Leo Buscaglia inside of me each day.

Leo states: "We take love for granted; we assume we are all perfect lovers and all we need to do is wait and our love will grow and blossom as readily as a flower in spring.  Not so.  Love doesn't grow unless we do.  It takes patience, knowledge, experience, determination, and every positive trait we possess.  In addition, love is always changing and unless we stay aware and change with it, it eludes us!"

Don't let love elude you!  You have the capacity to love.....find a way to express that capacity.

Pets age and people age.  Have you spoken to your grandfather or grandmother in the last week?  Have you looked at your pet to find out if your pet is in pain as it ages?  Have you picked up your I-Phone and messaged a person who has called and asked for your help?

Takes my words and the words of Leo Buscaglia with you this day and each day of the rest of you life: 

"It is when we ask for love less and begin giving it more that the basis of human love is revealed to us." Dr. Leo Buscaglia

Questions concerning this Blog please address to:

DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com

18May2014

DH DeForge, VMD

 A World that has Forgotten How to LAUGH

A Tribute to Jonathan Winters

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." - Bill Cosby

DH DeForge, VMD-A Commentary on the Great Man of Comedy

Jonathan Winters

07May2014

(CNN) -- Jonathan Winters, the wildly inventive actor and comedian who appeared in such films as "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" and "The Loved One" and played Robin Williams' son on the TV show "Mork & Mindy," has died. He was 87. [April 13, 2013]

Winters died Thursday evening of natural causes at his home in Montecito, California, according to business associate Joe Petro III.

Winters was known for his comic irreverence, switching characters the way other people flick on light switches. His routines were full of non sequiturs and surreal jokes. Williams, in particular, often credited him as a great influence.

"First he was my idol, then he was my mentor and amazing friend," tweeted Williams. "I'll miss him huge. He was my Comedy Buddha. Long live the Buddha."

"Genius" was a common touchstone as comedians reacted to Winters' death.
Winters, who was widely admired by comedians in general, was awarded the Mark Twain Prize -- which goes to outstanding humorists -- in 1999.

"R.I.P Jonathan Winters," tweeted comedian and filmmaker Albert Brooks. "Beyond funny, he invented a new category of comedic genius."

"Had a great run. Actual genius," tweeted Kevin Pollak.

"A genius and the greatest improvisational comedian of all time," tweeted Richard Lewis.

Gottfried: Jonathan Winters was mad brilliant

Though he never had a breakout starring role, over the years his appearances on TV shows made him a beloved figure in the entertainment world. He was a favorite guest on "The Tonight Show" -- particularly in the early '60s when Jack Paar hosted it -- and turned up on the game show "The Hollywood Squares," Dean Martin's celebrity roasts and countless variety shows.

He told the Archive of American Television about the creation of his character Maude Frickert, the sarcastic old lady, who came from a relative he had.

"I decided, having seen a lot of older people, that many of them are shelved -- put in retirement homes to rot," he said. "I decided to (be) a hip old lady" -- one who had a wicked sense of humor, the kind of person who was married 12 times and cracked a whip in a ward of cardiac patients.

Other characters included Elwood P. Suggins, B.B. Bindlestiff and Lance Loveguard.

He had a regular role on the final season of "Mork & Mindy," putting him together with Williams, who played the space visitor Mork from Ork. Winters played Mearth, Mork's son, who -- having hatched from a giant egg -- was the size of an adult but had the mind of a child. The attempted pairing of Williams and Winters was expected to create comic fireworks, but the show's already falling ratings didn't pick up, and "Mork & Mindy" was canceled in 1982.

Winters showed his range with the occasional dramatic role. In an episode of "The Twilight Zone," he played a shark-like pool player. In the 1994 film "The Shadow" -- with Alec Baldwin as the hero with the ability to cloud men's minds -- he played Baldwin's police chief uncle.

He was also a prolific recording artist, producing more than a dozen comedy records, including 1960's "The Wonderful World of Jonathan Winters."

Winters was born November 11, 1925, in Dayton, Ohio. He developed his talent for characters and voices from a young age. After serving in World War II, he married his wife, Eileen, in 1948 and hoped to become an artist. That career went nowhere, but his wife encouraged him to enter a talent contest. His win there earned him a position as a disc jockey on a local radio station, making up some of his interviewees. Eventually he left for New York, becoming a nightclub comic and earning spots on "The Tonight Show."

In 1961, Winters suffered a nervous breakdown. He spent eight months in a mental institution and was diagnosed as bipolar.

"It was one of the toughest times in my life," he told the Archive of American Television.

But when he got out -- on April Fools' Day, 1962 -- he almost immediately got a call from director Stanley Kramer, offering him a role in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Kramer was one of the most highly regarded directors in Hollywood, known for "The Defiant Ones" and "Judgment at Nuremberg."

He was reluctant about taking the role until his wife pushed him. "You'd better take it, because you'll never work again if you don't take it," he recalled her saying. In the 1963 film, filled with comedy all-stars, Winters stood out as a truck driver who destroys a gas station.

He was, many agreed, one of a kind.

"The first time I saw Jonathan Winters perform, I thought I might as well quit the business," tweeted Dick Van Dyke after hearing of Winters' death. "Because, I could never be as brilliant."

His wife, Eileen, died in 2009. He is survived by two children and five grandchildren.

Comments on the passing of the Father of Improvisational Comedy: Jonathan Winters...by Robin Williams

My father’s laughter introduced me to the comedy of Jonathan Winters. My dad was a sweet man, but not an easy laugh. We were watching Jack Paar on “The Tonight Show” on our black-and-white television, and on came Jonathan in a pith helmet.  “Who are you?” Paar asked.

“I’m a great white hunter,” Jonathan said in an effete voice. “I hunt mainly squirrels.”

“How do you do that?”

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“I aim for their little nuts.”

My dad and I lost it. Seeing my father laugh like that made me think, “Who is this guy and what’s he on?”

A short time later, Jonathan was on Paar again. This time Jack handed him a stick, and what happened next was extraordinary. Jon did a four-minute freestyle riff in which that stick became a fishing rod, a spear, a giant beetle antenna, even Bing Crosby’s golf club complete with song. Each transformation was a cameo with characters and sound effects. He was performing comedic alchemy. The world was his laboratory. I was hooked.

Not only was Jonathan funny on TV, but his comedy albums are also auditory bliss. One of my favorite routines involved a mad scientist who sounded like Boris Karloff. But instead of creating a Frankenstein, he made thousands of little men that he unleashed on the world. His shocked assistant cried out, “What are they looking for?”

The professor replied, “Little women, you fool.”

He also created comic characters like Maude Frickert and the overgrown child Chester Honeyhugger. In one classic pre-P.C.-era routine, he had Maude being molested by a huge farmhand. She protested, “Stop, I’m church people.” After he had his way, he was off to do his chores, and she called out, “Don’t be long.”

Mort Sahl said Jonathan was seen as a great improviser, but to him he was just being himself. He was a rebel without a pause, whether he was portraying the WASP who couldn’t get a decent martini in Mombasa or the cowboy who couldn’t ride a horse and backed out of frame. Jonathan’s wife, Eileen, maybe had the best quote. She said that Jonathan went through his terrible 2’s but that they lasted 20 years.

In 1981, my sitcom “Mork & Mindy” was about to enter its fourth and final season. The show had run its course and we wanted to go out swinging. The producers suggested hiring Jonathan to play my son, who ages backward. That woke me out of a two-year slump. The cavalry was on the way.

Jonathan’s improvs on “Mork & Mindy” were legendary. People on the Paramount lot would pack the soundstage on the nights we filmed him. He once did a World War I parody in which he portrayed upper-class English generals, Cockney infantrymen, a Scottish sergeant no one could understand and a Zulu who was in the wrong war. The bit went on so long that all three cameras ran out of film. Sometimes I would join in, but I felt like a kazoo player sitting in with Coltrane.

On one of his first days on the show, a young man asked Jonathan how to get into show business. He said: “You know how movie studios have a front gate? You get a Camaro with a steel grill, drive it through the gate, and once you’re on the lot, you’re in showbiz.”

No audience was too small for Jonathan. I once saw him do a hissing cat for a lone beagle.

His comedy sometimes had an edge. Once, at a gun show, Jon was looking at antique pistols and a man asked if he was a gun proponent. He said: “No, I prefer grenades. They’re more effective.”

Earlier in his life, he had a breakdown and spent some time in a mental institution. He joked that the head doctor told him: “You can get out of here. All you need is 57 keys.” He also hinted that Eileen wanted him to stay there at least until Christmas because he made great ornaments.

Even in his later years, he exorcised his demons in public. His car had handicap plates. He once parked in a blue lane and a woman approached him and said, “You don’t look handicapped to me.”

Jonathan said, “Madam, can you see inside my mind?”

If you wanted a visual representation of Jonathan’s mind, you’d have to go to his house. It is awe-inspiring. There are his paintings (a combination of Miró and Navajo); baseball memorabilia; Civil War pistols and swords; model airplanes, trains, and tin trucks from the ’20s; miniature cowboys and Indians; and toys of all kinds.

We shared a love of painted military miniatures. He once sent me four tiny Napoleonic hookers in various states of undress with a note that read, “For zee troops!”

But the toys were a manifestation of a dark time in his life. Jonathan was a Marine who fought in the Pacific in World War II. When he came home from the war, he went to his old bedroom and discovered that his prized tin trucks were gone.

He asked his mother what she did with his stuff.

“I gave them to the mission,” she said.

“Why did you do that?”

“I didn’t think you were coming back,” she replied.

Jonathan has shuffled off this mortal coil. So here’s to Jonny Winters, the cherubic madman with a stick who touched so many. Damn, am I going to miss you!

Robin Williams is an Oscar-, Emmy-  and Grammy-winning actor and comedian.  He recently completed filming “The Angriest Man in Brooklyn” and is in production on “A Friggin’ Christmas Miracle"

A Commentary by Dr. Don DeForge and Tribute to Jonathan Winters

If I say to anyone today under 30 years of age....don't you miss the humor of Jonathan Winters, I will get a look as though they are asking....who is "freakin" Jonathan Winters.

The next generation of comedians is here...I do not question their greatness but unless you Google Jonathan Winters and watch him on late night television or alongside Robin Williams on the sit-com "Mork and Mindy" in the 80's you will never understand what brilliant humor is all about.  He has been called genius....the father of comedy....and as Robin Williams writes with great love....the "cherubic madman"!  Jonathan Winters wrote the book on improvisational comedy.

The picture above is one scene from Mork and Mindy when Jonathan Winters, hatches from an egg as Mork's son who ages backwards.  Robin and Jonathan together brought scripts to pieces as they improvised what was never written.  

People ask why is there violence, hate, killing, and people looking each day for ways to hurt others?  Many times the hurt they cause is for personal economic gain.  Other times the hurt is from mental imbalance or the lust of just causing pain in other's lives.  Scholars, not I, have hypothesized that mental disease is a factor; the loss of family life; and the inability to laugh and love.

The answer is probably all of the above.  There is not enough laughter and as Leo Buscaglia identified thirty years ago...there is just not enough hugging.

Leo Buscaglia on hugging: "I was raised in a large Italian family...on holidays everyone gets together and it takes 45 minutes to say hello and 45 minutes to say good-bye. Babies, parents, dogs--everybody's got to be loved! Because of that I have never suffered that existential feeling of not being loved. Try it sometime."

Young people today are not being loved and they turn into adults without love.  They cannot hug because they were never hugged.  They cannot laugh because in their family no one laughed. This causes pain, fear, and loneliness.  I have stated many times before I am not writing my blogs as a psychiatrist but as a reporter on planet earth.  A reporter who had parents who hugged; a family that laughed around a large dinner table at holidays; and a person blessed with parents that described the importance of respect, compassion, and concern for your neighbor.

As we pass a year since we said good-bye to Jonathan Winters, it is now a time to go back and watch him on the internet; which is my challenge for all age groups.  Live with the laughter Jonathan creates; and share the smile, created by Jonathan, everyday with those who need our help.

Goodnight my friend and thank you for the happiness you continue to bring to this world.

Commentary by Dr. Don DeForge

17May2014

Comments address to DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com

Saying Good-Bye to Maren Sanchez

Saying Good-Bye to Maren Sanchez

"We can ask ourselves daily what we have done to make the world a better place; to make someone smile; to help someone feel more secure; ....It's the simple things which have the greatest effect.  We must never underestimate the strength of a smile or an act of kindness." Dr. Leo Buscaglia

Dr. Don DeForge 03May2014

Maren Sanchez

MILFORD, Conn. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Hundreds gathered in Milford, Conn. for a vigil Monday night, honoring a teenage girl who was stabbed to death – allegedly by a classmate.

As CBS 2’s Lou Young reported, students and teachers carried candles and wore purple – the favorite color of Maren Sanchez, 16. In all, more than 1,500 people filed onto the Jonathan Law High School football field to try to get past the grisly murder.

Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy, the principal of the school, members of the clergy, and friends of the slain high school junior were all in attendance. They spoke about trying to get past the shock, horror and despair of the event, and celebrate what the young woman stood for.

“She was a friend to everybody. She was kind; generous,” a young man said.

“It’s just really nice to see that there’s so many people out here, that are willing to come out and support,” a young woman said.

“This brings everybody together. I think that we can see how resilient the kids are – I mean, more than anything else, we can take from the kids that they’re the ones who came up with these ideas. They’re the ones who celebrated Maren,” said Milford resident Lee Avellenet.

The ceremony lasted just over an hour. Sanchez’s parents and grandmother were present, and did not speak, but rather listened to a series of tributes and prayers about the person they lost.

The students celebrated largely with song. They also listened to the victim herself, in a haunting recording that lovingly reassured the crowd and then suddenly went silent.

Earlier on Monday, classes at the school were canceled as shaken students came to talk to counselors.

“They all seem to be in some type of state of shock,” parent Rick Whitham said.

Meanwhile,  a16-year-old student faces arraignment on murder charges in Sanchez’s slaying at the school, on the day of the junior prom last week.

The teen’s attorney, Richard Meehan, says his client is being held in a hospital under psychiatric evaluation and did not appear at his arraignment in New Haven.

The suspect is charged as a juvenile, but Meehan has said he expects him to eventually be charged as an adult.

Authorities said Sanchez died Friday after the stabbing.

Authorities have been investigating whether Sanchez was stabbed after turning down the boy’s invitation to the dance. Connecticut’s chief medical examiner said Sunday that Sanchez died of wounds to her torso and neck.

Sanchez, a member of the National Honor Society who was active in drama and other school activities, had been focused on prom in the days before her death.

She had posted a photograph on Facebook of her blue prom dress and was looking forward to attending with a new boyfriend.

“She had an infectious smile, you wanted to be around her,” the school’s drama director Michael Mele told CBS 2’s Scott Rapoport.

The junior prom was postponed on Friday because of the killing, but has been rescheduled. Sanchez is the honorary queen.

Sanchez performed in “A Christmas Carol” and was getting ready for the opening of “Little Shop of Horrors” this Friday.

“Today we’re going to bring the drama club in to step on the stage for the first time to remember our lost friend,” Mele said.

Mele said he and the kids in the drama club have decided the show will go on as scheduled. The performance will be a tribute Sanchez.

Organizers are seeking donations so the junior class can buy a memorial bench in Sanchez’s honor.

The suspect’s attorney released a statement to the victim’s family, saying: “We know they’ve suffered a tremendous loss and thoughts and prayers are with the Sanchez family.”

Comments from Dr. Don DeForge:

I don't want the words in this commentary to be considered a eulogy.  Eulogies are created by those who are very close to the person being honored.  I have been moved by stories about Maren.  I  live in Milford and have spoken to some of her classmates who know me personally.  They speak with a tear in their eyes but with an excitement about the person that Maren was to them and all those that she met.  

I remember the words of Ted Kennedy when his brother Robert was assasinated.

"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.

"Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.

"As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: 'Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not."

I never met Maren and for me that will be a special loss in itself.  I was told that she wanted to become a veterinarian after college.  As a veterinarian, I have mentored and continue to mentor pre-veterinary students.  One day Maren and I may have met.  The words by Ted Kennedy I want to repeat are these....

Speaking them this time for Maren......"Those of us who loved her and who take her to rest today, pray that what she was to us and what she wished for others will some day come to pass for all of the world."

This blog commentary is not a commentary of sadness.  On the other hand it is a wake up call....

Dr. Leo Buscaglia states--"We can ask ourselves daily what we have done to make the world a better place; to make someone smile; to help someone feel more secure; ....It's the simple things which have the greatest effect."

From those that I have spoken to....... Maren was definitely on track...she was already dreaming things that never were and saying why not.....Let Maren's death change all of us.......not negatively or by being consumed with hate for her attacker.  Maren would not want that.  She would want us to take over where she left us.....smile more.....help others.....do not let a day pass without telling your parents, your spouse, your partner, or your friends how much you love them.  The pain of being without Maren can only go away....at least lessen....by taking Maren into our hearts and bringing her to others.

Students and Friends Meet for Vigil at Walnut Beech for Maren

Dr. Don DeForge

hyyp://animaldocammultimedia.blogspot.com

Comments on this Blog-Please address to DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com

03May2014